By Alan D. Wolfelt

Explaining how multitudes of North american citizens are sporting the discomfort of every kind of loss—not simply the deaths of household but additionally the lack of a wife via divorce, little ones who depart domestic, and the decline of future health as they age or get sick—this balanced source empowers mourners and grief counselors to turn grief into an experience to be learned from. Defining the forms of heartache and its consequences, this potent advisor explores the right way to stock, comprehend, include, and reconcile one's accumulated sorrow via a five-phase "catch-up" mourning process. Readers will learn how to use a non secular and holistic method of research and combine the ignored loss from their pasts, on the way to pass directly to stay fuller, extra balanced lives.

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It will keep trying to get your attention until you give it the attention it demands and deserves. ” If your pain is left unhealed, it destroys your enthusiasm for life and living. It can deny you your creativity, your gifts, your talents. The result 49 Living in the Shadow of the Ghosts of Grief is that these parts of yourself go stagnant or unclaimed inside of you, wishing they could get out but feeling trapped. It is as if you have an imaginary cage surrounding you. In the cage are a multitude of potential symptoms reflecting that you are carrying the pain of grief.

46 Part Three Are you carrying grief? Part Three “The frightening thing about loss is what we do to ourselves to avoid it. We know we cannot live without losing, but this knowledge does not prevent us from seeking to protect ourselves. So we narrow our souls. We draw ourselves tighter and tighter. No longer open to the world with all its hurts, we feel safe. ” — David Wolpe When you carry your pain from life losses instead of mourning that pain, it will come back to haunt you. It will keep trying to get your attention until you give it the attention it demands and deserves.

The need to control often comes about because you have been taught to make grief your enemy instead of your friend. You try to control because you have learned to fear grief. You have grown up in a culture that attempts to “overcome” grief as opposed to experiencing it. It hurts to allow feelings of sadness into our life. It hurts to let yourself know what you have lost. The need to control has become such an unconscious part of North American culture that many people think they can let go of control by simply deciding to.

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