Show description

Instead of “You don’t deserve to have anything since you are an ungrateful slob,” try “I am angry that your room is not clean. I know you can straighten it out and have it look just fine. ” Remind yourself of the qualities your child has that you admire and love. • Give Yourself a Pat on the Back. When you avoid the exploding point, tell yourself you are a good mother for protecting yourself and your children from saying hurtful and destructive things. Recognize that you are no longer acting like the type of mother you don’t want to be and the type of mother you don’t want your child to have.

If your adult child moves in, she becomes part of the household now. There are errands to do, dinners to prepare, laundry to fold, a garden to weed, rooms to paint. And the list goes on . . • You’re Not Being Cheap. When your adult child begins to earn money, you can ask her to contribute financially to your household. Let go of guilt by holding the money in a bank account and returning it to her when she is ready to move out. The way you handle money is not necessarily the way your kids will handle it.

She may or may not know what you are talking about, but give it a try anyway. • Suggest a Three-Way. Suggest that the three of you get together to discuss your perception of what is going on. Be careful not to accuse, but rather bring up your concerns about how the friendship is shifting and behaviors are changing. 22 Week 2 J S• M V Don’t Take the Bait. When you experience the manipulation, don’t respond to it. ” • Create a Pact. Ask each other how to deal with situations when someone feels disappointed, threatened, left out, or concerned about something rather than resorting to previous behaviors.