By Matthew Calkins, Mary Lou Walker

Award-winning instructor Mary Lou Walker offers 10 transparent principles to creating dialog worthwhile and pleasurable during this informal compendium of wit and knowledge. Positing that dialog teams, or colloquies, make the best social antidote in today’s tradition of tweeting and texting, she infuses every one step with worthy life-lessons to aid advance personality and likability whereas getting to know the paintings of attractive with others via discussion. excellent for beginning colloquies within the lounge, lecture room, or public library, her directions contain: “don’t scouse borrow the subject,” “probe, don’t pry,” “don’t take the bait,” and “think prior to you speak.” via real-life examples, Mary Lou demonstrates the right way to “speak effortless” with civility on all concerns from excessive forehead to low forehead, with out subject off-limits.

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Remember, listening is fifty percent of conversation. It is not a nuisance to be ignored or endured impatiently. It is important and ought to be done well. Pay attention to your posture and those around you. Do not underestimate the messages silently being communicated. If you do not learn to listen well, you will never master the art of speaking well in conversation. 57 SPEAK EASY LIFE LESSON: Good for Business Whether you work in teaching, as I have most of my life, or business, public service, or charitable and religious work, listening well is an art you need for success.

By sharing, we learn the basis of political leanings, the experience that leads to different world views. The wonderful and overarching aim of the art of conversation is to encourage a civil society in which politics can be discussed without fear or hatred, religious difference with respect and interest. All around the world and throughout history, we see religion can become a weapon of division and war, in sharp contrast to the actual teaching of most religions on the values of compassion, justice, and peace.

Share who you are. A full life will play itself out differently for each of us. Being respectful, genuinely interested, and willing to be open and share yourself is one way to get in touch with your own “holy longing” and notice the deep longings in others. 53 SPEAK EASY 54 D I S C U S S , D O N ’ T D E B AT E DIALOGUE: Don’t Take The Bait Mary Lou: Discuss, don’t debate. Sounds good, but how do we draw the line? Alice: I begin to debate when, instead of simply presenting my opinion, I try to change yours.

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